Here’s to Healing and Healthier Relationships

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Photo Credit: Anastasiia Vedmedenko

By Natalie Stamper, Psy.D

Healthy relationships do not always come easy; there is a degree of effort that everyone must put into them to function. Often, there is no direct “right answer” for the problems one may have with their romantic partner. There are, however, steps both parties can take to ensure a working coalition.

It is important to look for signs of relationship issues, such as excessive arguing, withdrawal, or a lack of trust. Sometimes such relationship issues are caused by “self-sabotage,” in which either partner severs opportunities to grow more intimate connections. This avoidance behavior often stems from fears of abandonment and low self-esteem. It takes a certain amount of courage to face issues with intimacy and honesty with their partner. Ignoring problems only creates more division and can aggravate resentment, and other negative emotions either partner may harbor.

Couples counseling is one great example of a way to increase communication and consequently create more harmony within the relationship. If both partners are willing to change and communicate their issues with one another without playing the blame game, there is clear hope for a resolution.

Relationships are a joint effort. Mending them can be tiring and taxing on one’s emotions, but as long as both are willing to work on it, it is a step in the right direction. Even if the relationship ends, it is best to know it ended with some sense of closure and clarity. There is always something to be learned from these experiences, so regardless of how things go, all one can do is pick themself up and carry on.


References

Beyer, Anna Lee. “Do Your Relationships Often Seem to Self-Destruct? Figure Out If You’re the One Who’s Been Setting the Clock.” Greatist, Greatist, 24 Sept. 2020, greatist.com/grow/relationship-self-sabotage.

Lancer, Darlene. “Signs of Serious Relationship Problems.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, LLC, 19 Apr. 2019, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201904/signs-serious-relationship-problems.

Manson, Mark. “6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal.” Mark Manson, Infinity Squared Media LLC, 8 Sept. 2020, markmanson.net/toxic-relationship-signs.

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