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Join Healing Pathways Psychological Services at the 2017 Healing Arts Festival!

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The Healing Arts FestivalHAF-Favicon, originally called Intuitive Healing Arts Festival, was created back in 1999 and has always been a place to find top quality psychics & healers, new thought, and ancient traditions. We pride ourselves on having the best of the best in the metaphysical and holistic community and continue to expand with new offerings. The spiritual journey is exciting. At the Healing Arts Festival, we respect all seekers as they travel their paths. The Healing Arts Festival is a forum to discover resources for your journey of personal growth. We create a safe and uplifting environment, and have zero tolerance for immoral interpersonal behavior or business practices.

spiral in natureThe Spiral is seen in nature, art, and ancient culture. In 3 dimensions it is known as a helix and can be seen in our DNA or the galaxy. The spiral symbolizes our spiritual journey from healing and rebirth into wisdom and compassion. It leads us from ego consciousness to cosmic awareness, from the inner world to the outer world, and represents the ever expanding consciousness.

About The Owner/Producer:

Prasanna Hankins

Prasanna Hankins is a healer and entrepreneur in the metaphysical community. She is a disciple of Paramhansa Yogananda and has been practicing and teaching his healing techniques for over 10 years.

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Come Get Your Pride On With Healing Pathways Psychological Services On June 3rd!

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Pride Festival

PRIDE FESTIVAL

The festival is on Saturday June 3rd from 11am-5pm, costs $10 per person (children 10 and under are free), and is located on the Capitol Mall between 3rd and 7th streets. More about the festival…

ABOUT SACRAMENTO PRIDE

Sacramento Pride 2017 is the 33rd annual local commemoration of a pivotal moment in civil rights history, the Stonewall Riots of New York in June, 1969. This moment represented the start of a movement to bring lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) Americans out of the shadows and into everyday society. More recent achievements along these lines have included the repeal of the military’s “don’t ask don’t tell” policy as well as court victories to equalize marriage rights.

The event has evolved into a high profile celebration and cultural festival, both on the national and local levels. Pride was moved from Southside Park in 2010 to the streets along Sacramento’s symbolic Capitol Mall, with the State Capitol building on one end and the iconic Tower Bridge on the other. Pride 2017 will build upon our successes and continue to grow and improve.

Sacramento is already nationally known as a city with a relatively high gay population. The City of Sacramento is estimated to have a gay population of 9.8%, the sixth highest in the nation. The larger metropolitan area comes in at 5.5% which is still higher than the national average of 4.1%.

Pride is more than just a great parade and festival, however. It is produced by the Sacramento LGBT Community Center and is the largest source of funding for the Center’s programs and services. The Center provides unique services for at-risk youth, a free weekly legal clinic, HIV/AIDS prevention and support services, transgender support, and numerous discussion groups and other activities for LGBT adults. The Center is a 501c(3) charitable organization.

OUR COMMUNITY

Healing Pathways Psychological Services is excited to join the celebration of Sacramento Pride 2017. Our contribution to the event not only educates people about what we’re up to in our city, but we will be putting smiles on their faces with fun activities and prizes. We are so delighted to share these festivities with all of you and look forward to sharing this rare opportunity…

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The Components of Trustworthy Relationships

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The Components of Trustworthy Relationships

by

Cassandra Vogeli, Psy.D. Candidate, M.A.

cassie-blog

(Photo saved from www.pintrest.com)

“Life isn’t fair. But Relationships can be.” – Janet Hibbs (2010)

In her book, Try to See it My Way: Being Fair in Love and Marriage, Janet Hibbs outlines the importance of fair give and take within relationships. We each come into life from families with various ideas about what is fair, what we are entitled to (constructive and destructive), and how to go about getting such needs met. Unfortunately, sometimes these ideas about fairness and the ways we go about meeting our own needs can end up working against our closest relationships and us.  Nagy & Krasner (1986) suggest that in order to create healthy and balanced relationships as well as get our needs met in a way that is constructive within our relationships; we need to understand our own fairness model. Hibbs (2010) outlines four very useful and practical elements in the process of being fair within relationships; first I will outline them below and then use them in an everyday example so that you can see what they look like in action.

 

  • The first is a concept called, reciprocity. Reciprocity as defined by Hibbs is, “The balance of mutual care and consideration.” Reciprocity is the act of giving to a partner or relationship with trust that they will reasonably give back in some way at some time. Be aware not to mistake this with tit-for-tat giving, where one might say, “I will do this for you (ONLY) if you do this for me”; this type of giving erodes trust.
  • The second concept is acknowledgment. Acknowledgement, although often undervalued and overlooked, is kind of a one-two punch for constructively giving in a relationship. It serves to give credit to your partner, affirm their good intentions, as well as validate their reality. This means putting yourself in your partner’s shoes and recognizing their effort or positive intentions.
  • Next there are (fair) claims. Fair claims are part of an earned entitlement based on past giving within the relationship, to ask for one’s needs to be met, or to request certain destructive behaviors to end. In order for a claim to be “fair” it should: (1) be realistic (2) not take advantage of your partner’s trust and (3) it must be earned between the two relating individuals.
  • The last element outlined by Hibbs is trust. Trust is created through each of the aforementioned: reciprocity, mutual acknowledgement of efforts and intentions, as well as fair claims. Trust can be built or depleted through different acts of reciprocity, acknowledgment, and fair claims. Trust grows when needs are considered, even if they are not met, this is important to remember. The more trust that exists within a relationship, the more a healthy “closeness” can exist between the couple (Hargrave & Pfitzer, 2003). Hibbs’ summarizes trust beautifully: “In a healthy relationship, you’re able to give freely and trust that you’ll receive care in return.”

 

Now let’s see these four elements of fairness in action. In the first example I will outline a situation in which reciprocity, acknowledgement, fair claims, and trust are not utilized:

 

Consider the couple James and Sara, who have been married for 12 years.  One evening Sara is working late, so James decides to cook dinner and have it ready when Sara arrives home. Sara enters and is so pleased to find dinner on the table for her.  After the couple finishes eating, Sara enters the kitchen and James sits down on the couch to wind down from the day. Upon entering the kitchen Sara sees a gigantic mess awaiting her, dishes everywhere, food all over the floor and counter tops, pans coated with a layer of sticky residue, and all she can think is, ‘why does he always make such a mess when he cooks!’ Trying to hold it together, Sara begins to clean the kitchen silently hoping that James will join in to help her. By the time she wades through the mess by herself, she is fuming, and her attempts to curb her aggression are futile. Unable to ignore the bubbling aggression, she explodes at James. “You always make a huge mess when you cook! You never clean up after yourself!” Triggered by her aggressive outburst James retorts, “You never appreciate anything I do, nothing is ever good enough! I tried to make dinner for you as a favor and this is the thanks I get?” Sara, still fuming, shoots back, “I didn’t ask for this! I would have rather picked up a pizza on the way home then have to clean up this mess!” The fight escalates and the emotional “bank account” within the couple system is eroded.

 

Now let’s look at how this situation may have gone using the four elements of fairness Hibbs outlines:

 

This time when Sara enters the kitchen she decides to handle things a bit differently.  Using acknowledgement, she states, “I appreciate you making dinner for me, I know you did it as a favor because I had a long day.” Not disregarding her own feelings, she makes a fair claim, “I am exhausted after today. Could you clean the kitchen for me?” James tired as well, acknowledges Sara and also makes a claim, “I bet you’re tired, I apologize for making such a big mess. I’m really beat as well, would it be okay with you if we left the dishes tonight and did them in the morning?” Sara acknowledges his effort and agrees while she also makes a claim for James to be more conscious of making a mess when he cooks and the couple leaves the situation having built trust and reciprocity, instead of putting more stress on their relationship. Following these guidelines may help to ensure that we grow from mistakes and shortcomings, rather than depleting our relationships unintentionally.

 

If you are interested in learning more about fairness within relationships, or about your own fairness model, I recommend checking out “Try to See it My Way” by Janet Hibbs. It is a wonderful book full of great resources and hands on exercises to really help your self-awareness and your relationship with your partner grow. Happy reading!

 

References and Further Reading

Boszormenyi-Nagy, I., & Krasner, B. R. (1986). Between give and take: A clinical guide to contextual therapy. New York: Brunner/Mazel.

Hargrave, T. D., & Pfitzer, F. (2003). The new contextual therapy: Guiding power of give and take. New York: Routledge.

Hibbs, J. B., Getzen, K. J. (2010). Try to see it my way: Being fair in love and marriage.

Penguin Group, New York, NY.

 

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Enhancing Resilience

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Enhancing Resilience

by
 Dr. Jennie Lorena Thomas

resilience-pic (Photo Credit: Danielle Kambrey)

Most of us may not like to be reminded of this, as being human means we will face pain at some points during our journey through this world. Unfortunately, we cannot avoid this life’s truth no matter who we are. Fortunately, we now know that the sooner you internalize this truth and grieve your losses, the happier, less stressed, and healthier you will feel and live.
Thus, while you journey towards this truth, let me reinforce the truth of the strength our resilient spirit is capable. This spirit or energy essence can allow us to stand up to, and breathe through any adversity; it allows us to shine both inside and out. In fact, Change Basics (Russell and Russel, 2006) contains resiliency tips that solidify this point.

  • Proactive people actively engage change and shape their own vision, keep their locus of control focused internally, preserve their self-efficacy, have a strong self-confidence and self- assurance, and are aware that their choices influence their response to challenges
  • Develop a personal meaning and vision so they have a clear belief and vision of what they want to create. They allow that purpose to propel them forward, so when adversity approaches, they can see it through hopeful eyes as a possible opportunity and stay focused on the larger more realistic view of life beyond it
  • They nurture interpersonal competence, our ability to truly empathize with others, thus magnifying their social awareness and interpersonal efficacy
  • They remain flexible and adaptable by staying aware of what’s happening around them so they can then make sensible adjustments in response.
  • They take a moment to think before acting. The more you practice the skill of organizing your thoughts and feelings; the result tends to yield an inner focus and outward stability. (Prioritizing to-do lists, and then following that prioritization, will enable you to manage your time effectively)
  • Strive to problem solve by analyzing and breaking down complex challenges to discover and explore their root causes. Recognize and clearly define the interdependence of these challenges within the larger system, and then set manageable goals.
  • Connection with community is important in attracting healthy caring and supportive relationships that create love and trust, provide effective mentors, and offer encouragement and reassurance. This is a foundation for continued personal efficacy.

 

Ways to Strengthen Resilience

After reading through these examples, perhaps select one tip a day and work with it a bit. For example, take the flexibility concept and consciously work on growing your awareness of your surroundings for a day. See the ways you’re less flexible and perhaps choose to let that some of that rigidity go. Alternatively, be that problem-solver for a day by taking a problem and breaking it into its constituent parts, then analyze how the parts fit together, and see how your various responses can be part of the problem and solution. Just observe how things can become more manageable. And add an extra kick of self-confidence to your day. Speak from your belly, look people in the eye, straighten your spine and put your shoulders back a bit. Feel yourself grow taller.
What everyone needs to know is that we actually have access to everything we need for a balanced life: awareness, determination, vision, creativity, love, passion, faith, and intuition. These human endowments begin to be realized when we focus on them, and they come into full bloom when we let them ripple through us, further building our innate resilience.
Admittedly, the journey as life students is sometimes arduous, often working full-time, and/or going to school while taking care of our families, maintaining ourselves, working to complete our degrees, get that position, that promotion, or that bonus. Let me now acknowledge each of you—great job for your hard work and continued effort. Keep smiling and know you are not alone.

Acknowledgments

I would like to gratefully acknowledge the following contributors to this publication:
Mary K. Alvord, PhD, Director, Group Therapy Center at Alvord, Baker, and Associates, LLC, Silver Spring, MD
Robin Gurwitch, PhD, University of Oklahoma Health Sciences Center
Russell and Russel, (2006) Measuring Employee Resilience, Published in the 2006 Pfeiffer Annual Training
Jana Martin, PhD, private practice, Long Beach, CA; (2003) President of the California Psychological Association
Ronald S. Palomares, PhD, Assistant Executive Director, Practice, American Psychological Association

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Self Compassion

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Self-Compassion
By Christine Brady, MA

beyourself (Photo Credit: Thich Nhat Hanh, Calligraphy)

When was the last time you recall hearing something like the following; “I can’t believe that you did that, what an idiot, you are so stupid, you always mess everything up.” Would you be surprised to know that many people speak to themselves like this on a daily basis?

While most of us would never dream of saying something so toxic to others we may have no problem speaking to ourselves this way. It may seem natural to respond with compassion and empathy to others that may be struggling while at the same time we may choose not to extend that same consideration to ourselves. It’s as if we believe that by coming down hard on ourselves we will somehow improve our performance.

Life naturally includes challenges and setbacks. We can add to the impact of intense events in our lives by colluding with an internalized bully. Constantly ruminating about past mistakes, current errors, and potential future gaffs keeps you out of the present moment and can exacerbate feelings of depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, relationship problems, and difficulty in recovering from setbacks.

Developing a sense of self-compassion isn’t merely positive thinking or repeating mantras in an attempt to quiet your internal bully, it is based in the relationship that we have with ourselves. Self-compassion is the willingness to treat ourselves with the same caring support that we extend to others.

Self-compassion balances the truth of a situation such as “I made a mistake” with the ability to realize that making a mistake does not diminish your worth and value. This allows you to both acknowledge what happened directly while avoiding the feelings of shame that can lead to feelings of hopelessness, thereby increasing the level of difficulty in finding solutions.

Self-compassion is a skill that allows us to navigate our humanness with objectivity, empathy, understanding, and kindness. It is a way in which we can relate to ourselves both when we’re struggling and when things are going well. This compassionate view of ourselves brings light to the dark places, soothes the soul, and provides a safe space for imagining creative solutions to everyday problems.

The following is adapted from KimFredrickson.com (2015) We All Need Kindness, Identifying Self-Compassionate Ways that we can relate to Ourselves.

Truths we can Share with Ourselves

~ You are valuable and precious, no matter what is happening

~ Even in the suffering you are going through, you are valuable and of great worth

~ Most people do the best they can with what they have. It is true that we want to live as healthy lives as possible, and it is also true that there are deep reasons why we make choices that can cause us harm

~ It is ok, and normal to be angry, confused, sad, and all jumbled up inside. These feelings are a normal and necessary part of the process of adjusting to what you are going through

~ Allow yourself to have and express your feelings if possible, because this expression cleanses and will subside

~ No matter what is happening, you can be a good friend to yourself

~ Take this time to allow your body/mind/spirit to heal. This is just as important as other things you need to do. Make sure care of yourself is in your schedule

~ Listen to yourself (your heart, feelings, thoughts, body, and spirit). What do you need right now? What would a really good friend do for you right now? You can be that friend

~ You are going through such a difficult time. What would the kindest person you know say to you right now?

~ Give yourself time to have a good cry and sleep. This may be just what you need

~ Breathe….and Rest…and be Kind…to You!

References
Fredrickson, K. (2015, November 19). We all need kindness. [web log post] Retrieved December 4, 2015 from http://www.kimfredrickson.com/we-all-need-kindness/
Fredrickson, K. (2015). Give yourself a break turning your inner critic into a compassionate friend. Grand Rapids, MI: Revell.

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The Compassion Door: 5 Steps to more LOVE!

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love-lines

By Leona Kashersky, Psy.D.

For the last year I have deepened my study and practice of compassion, using embodiment practices to integrate  “Lovingkindness” or “Metta” into my daily life and physical being.  My personal experience mirrors what research in the fields of transpersonal and mindfulness psychology is saying about the overall health benefits of the practice. This practice actually enhances immune  function, cardiovascular health, glucose regulation, and even improves social skills!

Metta can be loosely defined as love and compassion for the self and others. Researchers are learning that practicing lovingkindness or metta has objective and observable emotional, physical, social benefits. Donald Rothberg, whose work spans over 30 years as a leading teacher and writer on transpersonal psychology, meditation, and socially engaged spiritual practice, wrote “The Engaged Spiritual Life: A Buddhist Approach to Transforming Ourselves and the World.” Both Donald Rothberg and Barbra Fredrickson have been influential in conducting and participating in research to establish evidence for the health benefits of meditation, self-love, and compassion in modern society.  Fredrickson teaches what she calls “micro-moments of love” or  “positivity resonance” in scientific lingo and in everyday language. As Fredrickson points out, compassion generates loveand love feels good! Start with yourself, and it will naturally radiate out to others near and far.

In my most recent experiences with meditation on love, compassion, and kindness I have used Metta mantras such as “rest in an awakened heart”, “safe and free from harm”, “the body supports the practice”, “surrounded by love and kindness”, in combination with movement. The pairing of movement, breath, mantra, and human connection help to assist in the integration of the compassion practice into the entire mind, body, and spirit.  Movement can include yoga, walking, and dance, including 5 Rhythms; Included are a couple of links to local favorites! The practice of movement meditation has assisted in my personal journey to embody the practice of loving kindness.

The following  techniques reduce burnout and increases positive emotion and LOVE on many different levels in the lives’ of individual people, families, and communities.  A brief and concise description of how the mantras are used are outlined below:

for HP Blog

Step 1:

Cultivate self-compassion: First, focus on the easiest person to grow compassion towards, the self. This is done by not merely reciting words or phrases, but by allowing one’s self to feel the meaning of the phrase or words during the meditation.

  1. I rest with an awakened heart
  2. May I be safe and free from harm
  3. May my body support my practice
  4. May I be surrounded by love and kindness

Step 2:

Cultivate compassion for a ‘dear one’, someone you love dearly. This may be your child, your parent, or a romantic partner, or even a pet!  This is the second easiest form of compassion to grow. As you concentrate on the meaning or feelings of phrases or words, picture the face of the dear one; allow yourself to really experience the face of this dear one. Then slowly use  following mantras. One meditation session may only focus on one of the phrases for each of these steps.

  1. May you rest with an awakened heart
  2. May you be safe and free from harm
  3. May your body support your practice
  4. May you be surrounded by love and kindness

Step 3:

Cultivate compassion for a ‘neutral person’. This neutral person can be someone you see at Starbucks every weekday morning; however you don’t really know them. You don’t usually talk or say hello, you may just see each other in passing. You have no strong feelings towards them, neither positive or negative. Allow yourself to really imagine them in your presence, see their face in your mind’s eye. Begin the following mantras for them.

  1. May you rest with an awakened heart
  2. May you be safe and free from harm
  3. May your body support your practice
  4. May you be surrounded by love and kindness

Step 4:

Cultivate compassion for a ‘difficult person’, someone you find challenging to feel compassion for at the moment.  The difficult person can be someone  close to you, or a someone you’ve never met, such as a political leader. Sometimes the ‘difficult person’ and the ‘dear one’ can be the same person depending on how you feel at the time. Really allow yourself to feel the presence of the difficult person before using the following mantras.

  1. May you rest with an awakened heart
  2. May you be safe and free from harm
  3. May your body support your practice
  4. May you be surrounded by love and kindness

Step 5:

Cultivating compassion for all beings is a meditation focusing on humans, plants, animals, and the entire living planet. We continue to use the four focused mantras or phrases to do this with the following.

  1. May all beings rest with an awakened heart
  2. May all beings be safe and free from harm
  3. May all beings be free from pain and suffering
  4. May all beings be surrounded by love and kindness

 

References: 

Cultivating self-care and compassion in psychological therapists in training: the experience of practicing loving-kindness meditation. Training and Education in Professional Psychology, Vol 7(4), Nov 2013, 267-277 Boellinghaus, Inga; Jones, FergalW.; Hutton, Jane
Effect of Kindness-Based Meditation on Health and well-Being: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Galante, Julieta; Galante, Ignacio; Bekkers, Marie-jet; Gallacher, John Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, Jun 30, 2014, No Pagination Specified.

The nondiscriminating heart: Lovingkindness meditation training decreases implicit intergroup bias. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, Vol 143(3), Jun 2014, 1306-1313 Kang, Yoona; Gray, Jeremy R.; Dovidio, John F.

Self-compassion: Conceptualizations, correlations, and interventions. Barnard, Laura K.; Curry, John F. Review of General Psychology, Vol 15(4), Dec 2011, 289-303.

Effects of intranasal oxytocin on ‘compassion focused imagery’.  Rockliff, Helen; Karl Anke; McEwan, Kirsten; Gilbert, Jean; Matos, Marcela; Gilbert, Paul Emotion, Vol 66(8), Nov 2011, 1388-1396

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Tonglen: A Buddhist Meditation Practice

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photo by Emily Roesly

Positive visualizing creates the reality you want!                                                (Photo by Emily Roesly, via morguefile)

by Nicolina M. Cahouette, M.A., M.F.T.I #77972

The Meditative Breath Practice of Tonglen involves visualizing a person who you believe is in pain or has caused you pain.  Contrary to our habit of avoiding pain, Tonglen invites us to breath in the pain we are perceiving.  Our bodies become “conversion machines”, and we use our out breath to release the pain, extending a frequency of love toward the person we are trying to help or forgive.

Pema Chodron explains how this simple act, rooted in awareness, broadens our understanding connectedness and human suffering, because we reinforce the reality of an empathetic connection as we visualize while breathing in.

According to The Tibetan Book of the Dead by Sogyal Rinpoche, Tonglen is effective in negating the restricting and sometimes detrimental influence of our ego because it  opens our hearts to those around us and encourages us to help others  without losing ourselves in their personal dramas. We are compassionate observers, and teachers who are also learning how the people around us are effected by their own suffering (1993, p.195).

Visualization is a powerful part of this practice, and it has a number of cognitive benefits. Continually visualizing scenes which evoke positive emotional states reinforces the production of neurotransmitters in the brain associated with positive emotional states. Further, it encourages the pruning of synaptic relationships that are counterproductive.

Tonglen Breathing Exercise SANYO DIGITAL CAMERA

It is important to be in a quiet comfortable place where you can assume a comfortable posture.  Remember, comfortable for your body! You can sit on a cushion, on the floor, or on a chair.  Choose what is best for you. As this is a breath awareness exercise, it can be helpful to place your hand on your stomach to increase awareness of your diaphragm moving in and out with each breath.

While inhaling, visualize the pain associated with what you are trying to release around a specific person. Any confrontations or experiences that were especially salient to you will be a good fit for this exercise.

While exhaling, visualize having a positive healing experience with this person, that love is flowing from you, to the subject of your practice. This practice is a process of thought transmutation that encourages emotional healing around a person or experience.

A good rule of thumb when adopting any meditation practice is to accept that you may find it difficult to focus while you are experiencing the miscellaneous thought traffic that will drift in and out of your meditation time. Also, if you are a novice meditator, keep it brief at first. Start with 10 minute increments once daily until you can sit with ease, then increase the time in 5 or 10 minute intervals until you find what amount of time gives you the maximum ease and benefit.  Want some help?  Try this guided version with Dr. Miles Neale 

Rinpoche, S. (1993). The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. (p. 195).

NY:Harper Collins.

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